Balance
"Like pieces of a puzzle, the many different aspects of our being come together to form the person that we are. We work and play, rest and expend energy, commune with our body and soul, exalt in joy, and feel sorrow. Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of our life and self are in harmony. Our life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only we can determine what balance means to us."

Achieving this balance is not always easy. We have to decide what is truly important in life. So may choices we make tend to cause us to be out of balance, yet we continue to choose that...why is that? Is it that we fear change so much that we would rather be out of balance than to rid our lives of whatever habbit, relationship, health issues may be causing us to tilt?

I find that I will allow myself to "wander" and it seems the further I wander the harder it is to pull myself back into the more balanced place that works for me. Just like a pendulm that is swinging out of control, just being the slightest bit off kilter creates chaos.
I feel like I am holding on so tight...about to fall apart at any moment. Then somehow I am able to gain my composure again. This happened to me again receintly. I have been in another rut, overwhelmed and feeling a bit low about myself (health).

An acquaintenance of mine has been asking to become closer, she moved to Utah a while ago and has not made a huge ammount of friends here. (She is like me and Not a Mormon, go figure that she would encounter some difficulties finding friends) For reasons that maybe if I get brave enuf I will explain later...I have put her off. And put her off...NO I am not proud of this. It just Is.
Well one day I get a message from her asking if my son can go snowboarding with them. She was really cold and I felt a sting in her tone. (Deserved I Know) So I messaged her back and explained my state of mind...this time not making my typical excuse, but asking her to go to lunch and to see that new movie "He's Just Not That Into You". She Gladly accepted! I told her I'd even pluck my brows for her! WoOt...and if you had seem how bad I let them get! OMG you would understand what a Big job it was. So freshly plucked and smelling well...Juicy :D Off I went to enjoy some Incredible sushi and a great movie. Best of all while we were out her hubby got to play his beloved puter game all by himself as her son kept my boys busy so that My hubby could get the Much need drains fixed so the laundry room would not keep flooding! So not only did I get out and start to form a bond with someone who Truly wants me in her life, no matter what. I came home to a clean house and working drains....
So why was it so hard for me to just go do this?
Thats not the end of this story (sigh)
My mother had just come by to take my boys to her house for the night, so instead of opening my trusty laptop and double clicking on that ever familuar hand symbol on my desktop. I chose to ask the hubby if he wanted to go out. We often spend hours and hours at the nearby Barnes and Noble either ppl watching or reading while sipping on Starbucks coffee (yes I know). But due to my lack of wanting to live in the real world it had been a month since we had last gone. So we had a nice dinner and scurried off to have a coffee nightcap. LOL
This Barnes and Noble has some nice big comfy chairs near the cafe and we love to get lucky and score at least one, preferably both ;) So as we're sitting in a terribly Uncomfy hard chair at a table in the cafe...I notice one chair open up..I was shooing Pat (hubby) to grab it as I gathered out belongings. As he walked over, the man that was sitting there came back...so we told him to plz plz take the chair.Like any good person would do right ? (Trust me not all ppl Do that) He refused..said he would take another seat, and as he started to go the woman sitting in the other chair also told him to stay...he insisted that I sit. With that he was gone. I sat, noticing the book the woman was reading, and this Gorgeous crystal around her neck. Instantly I felt something. Not sure what, just something. not more than 15 minutes passed and she got up to leave. Telling Pat to plz sit - I took that opportunity to tell her I could not help but notice the book she was reading and had she read others by the same author. She had not. Well that was the begining of the most wonderful conversation. Pat had her sit back down and we talked and talked for hours..which literally seemed only minutes. She is from Bolivia, and has the most intoxicating energy about her. She felt the same about me. It was amazing. She helped me see again how out of balance I'd let myself become. I remebered again my path and where I need to be. It was just one of those times in life that you end up being Exactly where you should be when you need to be. We shared energy, not taking from one another but giving and recieving equally. I woke up that day from the daze I have been in. I had forgotten again how good it feels to be in the light.

I am thankful I pushed myself - it was time.

♥N♥